Reboot

Greetings all!  (She says optimisticly…)

As an introductory post, I feel the need to talk a little about myself and what I want to do with this blog. 

I am an ecclectic pagan who has been practicing on and off (more on that later) for nearly 25 years.  Through the years I’ve practiced solitary NeoWicca, hedge witchcraft, and ADF style Druidry.  It was because of the ADF Dedicant program, part of which includes finding a hearth culture and a patron deity, that I finally found a real spiritual home worshipping the Greek pantheon. 

I am a follower of Dionysos above all, and have an intense interest in Hermes, my husband’s patron.  I think of them as our “household” gods, but attempt to give due honor and respect to all the Theoi. 

I eventually left the ADF.  While I love its combined emphasis on scholarship and practice, it has a definite Celtic flavor, despite its attempts at Pan-IndoEuropean inclusiveness.  This framework did not feel like a good fit for worshipping Hellenic gods.  I still have a lot of respect for the organization and use much of what I learned from them in my own practice.

(I have also recently felt pulled towards certain Buddhist philosophies and even aspects of liberal Christianity – although I’ve put these interests somewhat on the back burner for now as I piece my primary path back together.)

So now I’m somewhere in the mists, trying to find my way once again.  At least this time I have guides.

I’ve looked at Hellenic Reconstructionism, as I have many online contacts who practice this faith and it looked like an obvious alternative.  I want to worship my gods in the way that they have chosen, yet it seems impossible to recreate a municpal religion with only two worshippers.  I also don’t feel qualified to offer the blood sacrifice that was such an important part of ancient practice.  I’m not particularly squeamish about animal sacrifice – at least, I could get over any squeamishness I do have:  I am an omnivore and hate hypocrisy – but I don’t have the skills or the facilities to do it properly.

I will probably never be a Recon, but I am beginning to research ancient Greek household practices and the Mystery cults, and let the gods guide me where they will.

On a personal level, I suffer from major depression and have all my life.  Spiritually, this means I will often go for long periods where I completely neglect my practice and, while the gods are always in my mind, I never seem to turn to them in these times of greatest need.  This is what has happened to me recently.  I’m just starting to climb out of the worst depression of my life, during which I moved from Phoenix back home to California.  I only recently realized that, while I have dutifully unpacked Dionysos’ shrine and am keeping it pristine, I haven’t made an offering to him since I left Arizona in December.  One of my major goals, as I start to regain energy and interest in life is to reaffirm my faith and attempt to repair my relationship with the gods.

That’s where this blog comes in.  I’ve attempted to keep spiritual blogs in the past, both as part of the ADF Dedicant program and on my own, but I’ve never been able to keep at it for long.  I’m using the Pagan Blog Project as a framework to encourage me to post more regularly this time.  Many posts will deal with personal discoveries and insights, though I will try to keep them useful or interesting to any followers that happen to come along.  I also intend to post more scholarly essays as I get the braincells firing again and am able to do proper research.

That’s all for now.  Blessed be.  Namaste.  Peace, love and soy products… and all that jazz.

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7 thoughts on “Reboot

  1. Hey Sue,Great intro and I certainly hope you are able to find your path again. I can totally understand the depression, but I think everyone goes through ups and downs. Personally, I have been away with all of my material rituals and tools. I have also taking on more of an eclectic Taoist path. As always, I wish you the bestJason McConnell

  2. Thorn says:

    Hi Jason!Thanks for the input!One of the reasons Buddhism has caught my attention, is that it seems like a way of looking at things that would be useful when I'm in a depression, while still being a positive philosphy and not the pure nihilism I tend towards at those times.

  3. I can appreciate that, though Buddhism depresses me more LOL. The whole "absense of desire" thing gets me a little down (and sometimes feeling guilty for having "things"). So … I feel much more connected to Taoism, where I can accept what's happened that is putting me in a funk and accept that it is a part of the cycle of Yin and Yang. To Quote the Tao Te Ching (Chapter 22):Yield and remain wholeBend and remain straightBe low and become filledBe worn out and become renewedHave little and receiveHave much and be confusedTherefore the sages hold to the one as an example for the worldWithout flaunting themselves – and so are seen clearlyWithout presuming themselves – and so are distinguishedWithout praising themselves – and so have meritWithout boasting about themselves – and so are lastingBecause they do not contend, the world cannot contend with themWhat the ancients called "the one who yields and remains whole"Were they speaking empty words?Sincerity becoming whole, and returning to oneself

  4. Alanna says:

    I like the intro – or reboot! I to have gone through ups and downs in both my spirituality and my emotional health. It's rough, but hopefully finding your path will help keep you on the up side of things 🙂

  5. Thorn says:

    Beautiful quote, thank you for sharing! There's so much of value in the Tao.

  6. Thorn says:

    Thank you so much. Its really easier knowing I'm not the only person who has to deal with this sort of thing.

  7. I think everybody goes through that, but it's a credit to your own spiritual path that you can admit it. in the many forms of Christianity it would be considered blasphemy.

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